The Christmas Challenge Page 15

  He craned his head and saw that Colt had a tattoo of some kind of a tree that stretched across his entire shoulders and upper back and down his spine, but he couldn’t see the details from here.

  “Mine took several sessions to complete,” Laird confessed. “That,” he jerked his thumb up at Colt, “took more.”

  “You’re supposedly so tough,” Luke called up to his brother. “You’re just lazy laying on your stomach for hours at a time. Tattoo artist sure must have been pretty. You got any more?”

  “Parker,” Colt called out. “Close your eyes.” He then flipped off Luke and everyone laughed.

  Laird was glad he’d come. If he’d stayed on the Triple T Ranch he would have skulked around hoping to run into Tucker, and he would have brooded. Now at least he was useful and exhausted. He might be able to sleep a bit tonight.

  He hadn’t done a lot of construction in his life, but he was enjoying working on improving a pole barn on Colt’s property. He thought it was wonderful that Colt was offering his land to his brother and future sister-in-law to bring their limited stock here. Re-start their business.

  Feeling at odds with himself and needing to burn some energy he’d agreed to come. He’d never built a barn before and Laird was pretty willing to try anything once. He liked the immediacy of it, using tools and his strength to put something together, and it came together far more quickly than he thought.

  “You and Tucker going to the Christmas ball?” Luke asked.

  “A ball?” Laird nearly nailed his thumb to the post. He was an outdoorsman all the way. “Like dancing and dresses and suits?”

  Luke laughed. “You make it sound like cancer. Colt can’t wait.”

  “I can kill you with my bare hands.”

  “Not from up there,” Luke taunted.

  “I can come down.” Colt unexpectedly swung around the beam and dangled down from one arm.

  Luke cursed and ran over like he’d catch him. Colt laughed and kicked his leg back over the beam and swung himself back up like it was nothing.

  “Glad to know you care,” Colt said like he hadn’t just risked plunging to his death.

  “At least someone did,” Talon said, standing just inside the door, her face white and body stiff.

  She stared up at Colt and covered her mouth, clearly trying to choke back emotion. Colt popped to his feet and ran to the end of the beam to the ladder and climbed down like it was easy, like a damn monkey, and Laird, who was paid to climb and to help others do so, marveled at Colt’s easy, graceful, and efficient motions.

  “Hey baby,” he strode over to Talon who still stared at him, eyes huge, and Laird realized she was shaking. “I was just joking around.”

  He looked away wanting to give them privacy. He didn’t think anything he’d ever done had made Nina freak.

  “Not funny,” her voice cracked and her legs gave out, but Colt caught her. “I can’t…” She pushed against his chest. “That was so stupid. I can’t even look at you right now.”

  “Just pulling Luke’s chain. After seven hours of grinding it out I was bored and thought everyone needed an adrenaline rush.”

  He tried to wrap his arms around her again, but Talon shook her head that was still bowed. When she looked up her eyes were swimming in tears. She spun away and ran out of the barn just as Parker came back in with a small cooler full of drinks.

  “Where’s Mom going? I thought we were going to Tanner’s for dinner, and she told me to tell you guys to finish up.”

  “Thanks, P Man,” Luke snagged a bottled water from Parker’s full arms and looked at Colt. “Looks like you’re dressing up and dancing. Going to the ball. That would be a great apology.” He smirked.

  “I don’t have a suit and I don’t dance.”

  “No worries. Kane’s coming in a few days. He’s known to do a little dance after each successful ride so you’ll be in good hands. He’s good at leading.” Luke uncapped the water and drained it while Colt watched with narrowed, careful eyes. “You’ll get to play the girl.”

  *

  In the end, Laird caught a ride back with Luke and Colt because Talon had already left for the McTavish ranch. Tanner wanted her to check a horse, and Talon also wrote a short note that she would help start dinner. Parker had gone with her. The ride back was more solemn. Colt lost in thought. Laird obsessing about his rookie confession. It had just popped out. He barely acknowledged starting to feel love for Tucker. He’d come to Marietta for answers, and all he was getting was more questions.

  When they got back to the ranch, he headed back to the apartment, not sure if it was a good idea to try to see Tucker or not; but who was he kidding? He took off at a fast jog toward the horse arena. The apartment was dark. Swallowing his disappointment, because she couldn’t avoid him forever, Laird took a speed shower and hurried straight to the kitchen thinking that’s where he should help out. He was shocked to see Tucker standing by the beaten up farm-style wooden island skewing veggies on kabobs.

  “I can do that,” he hurried forward.

  “Chilled out all day like a princess after wrestling with some bulls earlier encouraging them to donate to the future,” she smirked. “And I chased a lot of dust mites and dust bunnies in the attic trying to get Christmas decorations and family heirlooms sorted from the junk. My hair was brown afterwards.”

  Laird couldn’t help it. He took a compulsive step forward and rubbed his hands down her arms.

  “I know I should have kept my mouth shut,” he said.

  “No,” Tucker closed the distance between them. “I was just so shocked. You are so amazing. So giving and centered and you have a poem by some ancient guy I never even heard of on your shoulder. How could you even think that you were…you know?”

  “Falling in love with you?” he said softly trying to get her to look at him, but she seemed fascinated with the floor. And then there was the veggie skewer between them, and Laird was pretty fond of his vision. He gently took the skewer out of her hand and put it on the tray.

  “I think it’s pretty obvious why I’m falling in love with you, Tucker. You are infinitely lovable.”

  “I’m not,” she whispered.

  He wanted to hold her, but he decided to take a lighter route. “Sorry,” he smiled. “My mind’s made up. You are amazing and I’m falling in love, and Tucker,” he tilted her face up to his, “I was never in love with Nina. And she was definitely not in love with me. I feel like I’m starting to come out of a very dark place and a lot of that is because of you. Your warmth. Humor. Kindness. Sassy mouth. Strength. You make me feel alive.”

  Tucker looked uncertain. “So I make you happy.”

  “Duh. That’s what I’ve been saying.”

  The relief that she wasn’t pushing him away or running jangled through his body.

  “Nina hurt you,” she said softly, her small palm smoothing over the planes of his chest.

  “Yes,” he said. “I…we…she got pregnant, and she didn’t want to have my child. She said I would make a lousy father, and that really burned because the minute she told me she was pregnant I went from being stunned to happy and thinking that that was it. We’d get married and I’d get a job that wasn’t so seasonal and far away and I started making all these plans in my head even though I didn’t love her, and then she said she’d take care of it like she was picking up dry cleaning.”

  He sucked in a deep breath. “I was so devastated. I couldn’t change her mind. It was like I was invisible. Nothing to her.”

  “Laird,” Tucker breathed, her finger stroking his mouth. “How could she possibly think that you wouldn’t be an amazing father? You’d be the best.”

  “Not even the top ten.” He held her hands, a little too tightly, but she let him, and he kissed them and then he pulled her close, absorbing her warmth, her aliveness. “I thought she was right. That I wasn’t cut out to be a dad, that’s how she put it, and I realized that I lived my life that way. She only saw my extreme sports and guiding persona. I n
ever opened up to her like I have to you. You’ve helped me to be a better person, and you may not feel the same way, but I’m not going to apologize for how I feel, and I’m going to try to make you change your mind.”

  “Laird,” Tucker whispered.

  “Daddy wants to know if you got the veggie kabobs for the grill.” Parker burst in the room. “Tucker’s kissing!” he shouted out and Laird heard the kitchen door bang shut.

  “Oops,” Tucker said.

  “Does that qualify as a scene?” Laird teased.

  “We could pretend we are politicians and deny it.”

  “Then we’d better get on veggie kebob duty. And you’ve made rice.”

  “Ah, yeah. I tried to make spicy rice and beans and peach cobbler thanks to the Internet and the cooking sites you’ve shown me and your totally reorganized kitchen.”

  She dipped a spoon in the bubbling rice and beans and popped it in his mouth. “You may want to taste it. I had a little crisis with the spice lid.”

  “Wow!” he tried to swallow because the roof of his mouth was going to explode if he didn’t.

  “Too spicy? Not enough?”

  He didn’t know what to say. His mouth felt on fire.

  “Too spicy,” she repeated looking at him. “I shook it out like you did, but the cap was a little loose and some dumped out in a giant clump, but I scooped most of it out. Is it salvageable?”

  He couldn’t help it. He reeled her in.

  “I’m trying to be worthy of your earlier declaration,” she said softly, “in case you thought I’d forgotten or was ignoring you.”

  “Tucker,” he sighed. “You don’t need to cook or wear adorable aprons—that clearly aren’t helping because you have sauce splattered even in your hair—to be perfect.”

  “If we were eating alone I could cook naked and you could lick the splatters off me.” Her eyes laughed at him.

  “Okay, I give up. That would be utterly perfect in every way.”

  She handed him a big cooking spoon and an apron. “Take it away before I burn everyone’s mouth raw.”

  *

  “Intervention,” Tucker stared at her sister in disgust later that night in the barn when they were checking on the horses. “That’s a bit harsh. He’s our father.”

  “He has an addiction problem,” Tanner said. “It’s not going to go away just because he sold the ranch to pay off his debts. There’ll be more debts if he doesn’t get cured and that will take rehab.”

  “And money. It’s not that bad,” Tucker said. Tanner was always the perfect one, so unforgiving of little mistakes that were all part of living. “We can take care of him.”

  “We?” Tanner rolled her eyes. Ryder sat next to her, eyes going from one sister to the other. Tanner squatted down and hugged the dog before standing up and facing Tucker as if she were bracing for a fight.

  “Yes.” Tucker stood in front of her sister. “We. I will stay and help.”

  “Right. It’s winter. It’s cold as hell some days, Miss California. And after Christmas, the town pretty much rolls up until spring. Colt’s letting me move my stock and our boarding horses and my horses over to his place, and Luke’s going to pull his trailer over to the property, but his spread is much smaller and doesn’t have enough out buildings. And the ones that are there are not in good repair. Sam Meizner really let his ranch go when Colt left home. Colt and Luke and our ranch hands have made one of the bunk houses livable, but the rest is going to take time.”

  “So there’s no place for Daddy and me? Is that what you’re saying?”

  Tanner threw up her hands. “I don’t know. I just don’t. And I hate barging in on Colt and Talon like this but Colt insisted and he’s been working around the clock to get so much done, and I feel…I feel…”

  Tanner walked away and instead of letting her, Tucker followed.

  “You feel what?”

  “Like I can’t breathe.”

  Her face and tone were stark, and Tucker wanted to throw her arms around her sister, but something held her back.

  “I feel angry,” Tanner said. “Daddy let himself go. It’s almost like he wanted to self-destruct and I know why. It’s my fault. I was never enough for him. He always loved you more.”

  “Tanner.” Tucker tried to put her arms around her sister even though the words were a barb in her heart because Bruce McTavish had always clearly favored her, and Tucker had loved the attention. But Tanner stepped away from the embrace.

  “And he resented all the work I put into the ranch and the changes I was making, and he said that I should wait for you and do it together with you and your husband.” She made a sound of disgust. “He was always so convinced that you were going to ride to the rescue with some big handsome smart cowboy and the McTavish ranch would be saved as the unnamed cowboy would take the reins and you’d start popping out sons.”

  Tucker felt the words like a blow.

  “Addiction is a disease,” Tucker said. “Probably all the pain meds started it when he was hurt.” She’d known so many people who slouched off to rehab, several times before it stuck. “You wouldn’t blame him if he got cancer. Daddy didn’t do it on purpose.”

  “Sure feels like it,” Tanner’s eyes were hard and unforgiving. “Now he just locks himself up in his room. Won’t even talk about what has to happen next. Keeps talking crazy, saying the devil made him do it. I can’t kick his ass to rehab fast enough. He’ll be dead in a year if we don’t.”

  Tucker wanted to run away. Not listen to this crap. Not be in the same space as her sister who was oozing bitterness and hurt. She stayed.

  “So we need to find a rehab place that has room.” That didn’t even sound like her voice. They were talking about their father. Who’d taught them to ride. Who’d taught them to be tough and work hard. Who’d stayed when their mom had left. “And that we can afford.”

  “And we need to get power of attorney and guardianship. At least temporarily.”

  Tucker started. “What? Why? He can’t be that bad.”

  “You haven’t spent much time with him lately, Tucker. He’s different, and now that the sale of the ranch is sinking in, he’s really withdrawn. Angry. He could still be gambling. I don’t know. It’s not like I can cut the Wi-Fi. I need it for business. If we don’t take over his finances he could be left with nothing after the sale. No funds to buy a new home for himself. Nothing for me to rebuild with. Nothing for you. I know addiction’s a disease, but he’s not living with me after this. Not with Parker around. And Luke and I want to have kids, so no way.”

  Tucker grabbed her sister’s arm hard. “Tanner, you are going to have to let this go.”

  “It’s easy for you to say. You weren’t here while it was happening. You were off living your life. Racing. Winning. Having fun. This is my life. It’s gone. Everything’s gone.”

  “It’s not,” Tucker said fiercely. “You are just starting new. Fresh. With Luke. And you said you had some breeding bulls. And Colt’s giving you some land. You and Luke are starting over. You’re going to start your own ranch and your own bull breeding business. And you’ll have kids who will grow up on your ranch. And maybe they’ll take over or maybe they won’t, but it will be their choice. But Tanner, baby girl, if you hold on to all this bitterness about what Daddy’s done and his attitude about girls versus boys and men versus women, you won’t be able to thrive. The bitterness will eat you up. You have to let it go. You have to.”

  “I don’t know that I can.” She looked at Tucker with dry eyes, but in them Tucker saw fear.

  “You can,” Tucker pulled her into a fierce hug and she wasn’t going to let go. Not now. Not ever. “You can and you will.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  It took Laird three days to work up the nerve to buy the tickets to the ball so that he could ask Tucker. He felt like he was in high school again except way less cocky and cool. It would have been hilarious if he’d been someone else watching himself stalk about with the tickets shoved awkwardly
in his back pocket.

  He used to feel on top of the world. Certain who he was and what he wanted.

  This past six months had just been crap that had brought him to his knees. First Nina. Then his mom’s accident. Her reluctant confession. Then nursing her as she died and his sense of betrayal and anger and bewilderment all swirling around with his guilt over those feelings had gnawed more holes in him. To hell with that, he thought in frustration. It had happened. He couldn’t change that, but he definitely couldn’t sit around mentally, moping. Move on.

  Laird purchased the tickets on Wednesday afternoon and had faced a lot of questions from the ball hosts, the Daughters of Montana, about how he felt about their little town, being a cook on the McTavish ranch that was being sold out from under that poor, poor Tanner, about to be married to that all-around cowboy Luke who seemed like such a nice man, but his daddy… They’d broken off the conversation there and one woman had started fanning herself vigorously with a brochure about the courthouse renovation.

  Laird, not usually a tongue biter when faced with unpleasant gossip, smiled as pleasantly as he could and said that Luke and Tanner were very happy and that he loved the town because the people in it were so generous in spirit.

  That had shut them up for about two seconds. Then they’d jumped to speculating about what lovely young Marietta girl he was going to ask. Tucker’s name, finally teased out, had not impressed. The three women had various expressions but if he had to describe it he’d think it was something along the lines of biting into a really unripe persimmon but you had nowhere to spit it out.

  He felt defensive on Tucker’s behalf. Maybe small towns weren’t so great after all if you had to drag around your baggage from your teen years as well as the baggage from your family and extended family.

  “Tucker and I have been working together at the ranch,” he said. “She’s been showing me the town, and I’ve been teaching her how to cook.”

  “The town you say?” one of the women asked, and if her brow had arched anymore it would have snapped in half.

  “Didn’t have a mother, poor girl,” a more sympathetic woman nodded. “Just up and left one day. Luke’s mother, Samara Wilder, was like that too. Always wild like her name. Tucker always reminded me a little of her although she never ran away like Samara did at fourteen with that foreign-born son of the ranch foreman at the Triple T or was he at Whispering Winds? Handsome as a devil but Trouble with a capital T. And a man. Eighteen when Samara started chasing after him. Had a way with horses and the bulls though,” she added reluctantly as if saying something positive hurt.